My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
