Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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