i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
