Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
