It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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