omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
