but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We smell like vodka and hangover
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