Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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