i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Terrible idea I love it
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
