Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize