with your own penis?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
