So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize