Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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