My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
