The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
