Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
