I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize