They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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