i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
