the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
