If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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