Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
