i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
