I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
