shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
is that a dick in a sweater?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
