She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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