i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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