road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
