I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
