i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
