My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
