hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
