have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
