Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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