At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i drank out of a bidet.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
