its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
