Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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