I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
