His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
