on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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