I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
