yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
God, I missed his penis.
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