after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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