Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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