I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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