There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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