so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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