We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
