apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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