I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
