Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
