We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
