I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
