I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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